There exist two versions of me: one wants to write barefoot in bed with three open notebooks, bad posture, and a playlist that sounds like emotional damage (aka Taylor Swift). The other is supposed to be running a business. Building a brand. Engaging with readers. Creating content. (shudders)
Guess which one wins most days? Exactly. The one in three-day-old pajamas.
The dream vs. the feed
When I pictured being an author, I imagined quiet mornings, poetic chaos, emotional breakthroughs at 2AM. What I did not imagine was spending 45 minutes debating whether to post a reel with a random sound or a trending one with the caption “Hot girls self-publish.”
But here we are.
Running M.B NOVELS means I am technically an entrepreneur — which sounds glamorous until you realize it includes writing captions for TikToks and posts for Threads, building landing pages, editing book blurbs until they sound like ads instead of art, and pretending I know what “conversion rates” are.
(Spoiler: I don’t.)
Creativity has to wear a blazer now (and they’re not even in style)
There’s this quiet tension in being both an artist and a business. One part of me is writing about grief, trauma, heartbreak — the kind of stories that feel like secrets. The other part is on Canva, trying to make a post about fictional murder go viral.
It’s emotional whiplash.
You write something that feels sacred… and then you have to turn around and sell it. Package it. Pitch it. Suddenly, the book that took years to write needs a 5-second hook and a bold font.
No pressure!
I struggle to find a balance between social media and my writing. I don’t even post on my personal page. But now I’m stuck in this recommended schedule of two reels a week just to maybe catch a sliver of virality. (I’ve given up on the schedule.)
The goal? Get someone to click. On my profile. Then the link. Then the book. Then buy. And if the universe is feeling generous, maybe even follow.
It’s a whole digital obstacle course — and all I really wanted was to write sad stories in peace.
What no one told me about “building a brand”
They say, “build a brand so your readers connect with you.”
But what if your brand is complex female characters who feel too much and sometimes kill people? What if your vibe is more “literary breakdown” than “girlboss”?
I’m still learning to balance the two. To let the business side exist without letting it crush the writing. Because at the end of the day, I don’t want to perform being a writer. I just want to be one.
Preferably with a cup of chamomile tea, terrible lighting, and no one asking me to make a carousel post about “my writing routine.”
Running a business as an author is hard. Especially when your brain is more story-driven than strategy-focused. And the numbers and I are simply not one. But I’m doing it — messily, imperfectly, and on my own terms.
Marketing who? I’m busy writing murder scenes in bed. And hoping to seduce the algorithm before I lose my sanity.
— Montse
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