{"id":854,"date":"2025-08-14T13:11:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-14T19:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/?p=854"},"modified":"2025-07-22T12:52:13","modified_gmt":"2025-07-22T18:52:13","slug":"the-call-was-coming-from-inside-the-novel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2025\/08\/14\/the-call-was-coming-from-inside-the-novel\/","title":{"rendered":"The call was coming from inside the novel"},"content":{"rendered":"
2\u20133 minutes<\/div>\n\n\n

I started writing fiction to escape and criticize. To create characters who were a little dramatic, a bit obsessive, maybe even slightly emotionally avoidant. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Totally not based on anyone I know. Except… they all kind of started sounding like me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first, I thought I was just really<\/em> good at writing flawed characters. Turns out, I was just writing my own flaws. Oops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

My emotional projections (they’re all named)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

There’s Hel, who pushes people away before they can leave \u2014 love her, she kills. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ilana, who mistakes silence for strength \u2014 a personal favorite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the one who says they’re “fine” but clearly planning a poetic breakdown \u2014 hello, Midnight Killer. Wrote some of my best lines there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While I thought I was building fictional people, I was actually leaving behind emotional fingerprints in every single paragraph.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

Oops, my trauma slipped into chapter three<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You don’t realize how unhealed you are until your fictional characters start making the same choices you do. Over and over. In different fonts. Across different timelines. A little toxic, a little tragic, a little too real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing became this safe space to admit the things I hid from myself. Like maybe I’m hard to love because I make it hard. Maybe I ghost people emotionally before they can ghost me. Maybe I was<\/em> the red flag… in lowercase italics. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yes, I’ve written villains I kinda relate to. No, I won’t be murdering anyone in the foreseeable future. I won’t be taking questions at this time.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

The climax of self-awareness<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Honestly, the only reason I even realized this was because someone<\/em> told me “you always victimize yourself in your books,” and it was like stripping me naked in a stadium.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s the thing about realizing I was the problem: it sucks ass! And it’s freeing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because once admitted, I get to heal from the nightmares. I get to give my characters what I never gave myself: clarity and a second chance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fiction lets me hold a mirror to my chaos, but it also lets me rewrite the ending. And the middle. And okay, sometimes the beginning, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So yes, plot twist: it was me. But at least I turned the mess into a narrative arc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you read one of my books and think, “Wow, this character needs therapy,” don’t worry. I already gave her a journal. And a knife.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u2014 Montse<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It started as fiction. Just a girl. A little dramatic. A little emotionally avoidant. Totally not me. Then by chapter three, she\u2019s spiraling, sabotaging, and romanticizing red flags \u2014 and I\u2019m sitting there like, wait\u2026 did I just write a memoir by accident?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":134972872,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23245748,63377],"tags":[7223,7758714,178,1747,8053601,3330,349],"class_list":["post-854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-confessions-of-a-writer","category-the-writing-life","tag-author","tag-bookish-thoughts","tag-books","tag-fiction","tag-indie-author","tag-publishing","tag-writing"],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pfZGWd-dM","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2517,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2026\/07\/14\/my-books-contain-terrible-advice-and-honest-feelings\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":0},"title":"My books contain terrible advice and honest feelings","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"July 14, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Authors often hope readers don't emulate their characters' flawed choices, as stories expose personal values and questions, encouraging self-reflection rather than imitation of poor decisions.","rel":"","context":"In "Bold Banter"","block_context":{"text":"Bold Banter","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/pen-punch\/bold-banter\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1013,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2025\/09\/25\/he-said-im-too-intense-so-i-killed-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":1},"title":"He said I’m too intense… so I killed him","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"September 25, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"He said I was too intense\u2014like that was a flaw, not a fire hazard warning. So I killed him. In fiction. On paper. Turns out, intensity makes great literature. Shame he couldn\u2019t handle the sequel.","rel":"","context":"In "Bold Banter"","block_context":{"text":"Bold Banter","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/pen-punch\/bold-banter\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2612,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2026\/08\/25\/my-writing-isnt-a-cry-for-help-but-it-could-be-interpreted-that-way\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":2},"title":"My writing isn’t a cry for help, but it could be interpreted that way","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"August 25, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"The connection between emotional truth and factual writing is complex; fiction allows writers to explore pain without personal experience, inviting empathy and participation rather than speculation.","rel":"","context":"In "Pen & Punch"","block_context":{"text":"Pen & Punch","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/pen-punch\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":764,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2025\/07\/20\/publishing-a-book-is-like-posting-a-nudes-folder-with-better-grammar\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":3},"title":"Publishing a book is like posting a nudes folder with better grammar","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"July 20, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Publishing a book is an intimate act of vulnerability, exposing personal truths and emotions. It blends chaos with art, daring readers to connect with the author's authentic experiences.","rel":"","context":"In "Indie Author Confidential"","block_context":{"text":"Indie Author Confidential","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/the-writing-life\/indie-author-confidential\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1082,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2025\/10\/30\/i-write-about-murder-but-i-swear-im-nice\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":4},"title":"I write about murder but I swear I’m nice!","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"October 30, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"A cheeky, candid piece in which the author explains her obsession with murder in fiction: not as celebration, but as a blunt tool to probe grief, fear, and what people become when faced with death.","rel":"","context":"In "The Heart of the Story"","block_context":{"text":"The Heart of the Story","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/the-heart-of-the-story\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2392,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2026\/06\/25\/no-one-warned-me-the-story-would-be-about-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":5},"title":"No one warned me the story would be about me","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"June 25, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Every writer eventually receives some variation of the same advice: write what you know. What nobody tells you is that sometimes what you know is grief. Or heartbreak. Or loneliness. Or anger. Or a very specific humiliation that happened six years ago and still manages to wake you up at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Pen & Punch"","block_context":{"text":"Pen & Punch","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/pen-punch\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/854","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/134972872"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=854"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/854\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":955,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/854\/revisions\/955"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}