{"id":1192,"date":"2025-10-23T13:57:00","date_gmt":"2025-10-23T19:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/?p=1192"},"modified":"2025-10-21T11:26:58","modified_gmt":"2025-10-21T17:26:58","slug":"unfortunately-ive-become-carrie-bradshaw","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2025\/10\/23\/unfortunately-ive-become-carrie-bradshaw\/","title":{"rendered":"Unfortunately, I’ve become Carrie Bradshaw"},"content":{"rendered":"
2\u20134 minutes<\/div>\n\n\n

It started innocently enough. A few late-night texts, a coffee that turned into a wine, and suddenly I was writing about that experience like my life depended on it. Somewhere between heartbreak and Word document number twenty-six, I realized the unthinkable: I have my own Mr. Big.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And worse… I am<\/em> Carrie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

The beginning of the end (or maybe just the beginning)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It started, as all terrible ideas do, with a message that should\u2019ve been ignored.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Hey.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That one word \u2014 so small, so harmless \u2014 and yet it had the emotional range of an entire season of Sex and the City.<\/em> I told myself it was nothing, just a little reconnection, a friendly chat. But somewhere between “how have you been?” and “we should catch up,” I found myself spiraling down a familiar, glamorous rabbit hole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He wasn’t The One<\/em>. He was The Pattern.<\/em> The man who inspires poetry, chaos, and a dangerously high screen time report. And like every writer cursed with emotional Wi-Fi, I did what I do best: I started writing about (my experience with) him.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

Suddenly, I was typing like a maniac<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One night, staring at my blinking cursor, I realized something horrifying \u2014 I had become her.<\/em> Carrie Bradshaw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who romanticized toxic men and called it content.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who made pain look like prose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman I used to despise.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had always thought I was too self-aware for that, too rational, too modern.<\/em> But then I looked at my Google Docs \u2014 all titled with cryptic lines and I realized: I was living my own reboot, no HBO contract included.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

Everyone hates my Mr. Big<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Everyone hates him. My friends, my readers, the people who follow me for my feminist takes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And honestly, I don\u2019t blame them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019s emotionally unavailable, selectively charming, and allergic to commitment. A human cocktail of red flags with questionable taste in music. But here\u2019s the thing: he\u2019s my muse.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019s the reason I write like a maniac at 2 am, the reason every metaphor feels alive again. He\u2019s chaos wrapped in charisma, and for some reason, I keep saying yes. Not to him,<\/em> necessarily, but to the story he gives me every time he walks back into my life.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

The writer’s curse<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Us writers don\u2019t fall in love: we study<\/em> it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We dissect it, analyze it, immortalize it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every heartbreak is a thesis. Every unanswered text is material. We turn pain into paragraphs, ghosts into characters, and bad decisions into beautiful sentences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carrie had her column; I have my website. And my books. And a microphone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the worst part? I love it. The drama, the reflection, the illusion that if I can write<\/em> it, I can understand<\/em> it. That if I name the feeling, I can finally stop feeling it. Spoiler: I never do.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

The big question<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I used to think that writing was how I processed things. Now I\u2019m starting to suspect it\u2019s how I prolong<\/em> them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because every time I write about him, I keep him alive. In my sentences, in my imagination, in the little corner of my heart that refuses to delete his name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So maybe Carrie wasn\u2019t delusional. Maybe she was just like the rest of us writers trying to turn heartbreak into something worth reading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And as I sit here typing about my own Mr. Big, I can\u2019t help but wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do we write about love because we feel too much\u2026 or because it\u2019s the only way we can make sense of feeling at all?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u2014 Montse<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It started innocently enough. A few late-night texts, a coffee that turned into a wine, and suddenly I was writing about that experience like my life depended on it. Somewhere between heartbreak and Word document number twenty-six, I realized the unthinkable: I have my own Mr. Big. And worse… I am Carrie. The beginning of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":134972872,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23245748,63377],"tags":[7223,7758714,178,1747,8053601,3330,349],"class_list":["post-1192","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-confessions-of-a-writer","category-the-writing-life","tag-author","tag-bookish-thoughts","tag-books","tag-fiction","tag-indie-author","tag-publishing","tag-writing"],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pfZGWd-je","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":806,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2025\/08\/03\/writing-through-the-things-i-wasnt-supposed-to-feel\/","url_meta":{"origin":1192,"position":0},"title":"Writing through the things I wasn’t supposed to feel","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"August 3, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Montse reflects on overcoming emotional repression through writing, embracing complex feelings like anger and grief, and finding freedom in expressing what was deemed forbidden or unacceptable.","rel":"","context":"In "The Curator"","block_context":{"text":"The Curator","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/pen-punch\/the-curator\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2620,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2026\/09\/01\/some-days-the-story-has-to-carry-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":1192,"position":1},"title":"Some days the story has to carry you","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"September 1, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Writing often emerges from struggle, demanding presence rather than perfection, turning emotions into meaningful creation.","rel":"","context":"In "Bold Banter"","block_context":{"text":"Bold Banter","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/pen-punch\/bold-banter\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1089,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2025\/11\/06\/writing-is-an-exorcism-sometimes-the-demon-is-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":1192,"position":2},"title":"Writing is an exorcism… sometimes the demon is me","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"November 6, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"When I sit down to write, it's not always gentle muses whispering poetic lines into my ear. Sometimes it feels more like a hostile takeover. The demon shows up uninvited, dragging all my unresolved grief, bitterness, and emotional hangovers into the room. Suddenly, I'm not just writing... I'm exorcising. And\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Pen & Punch"","block_context":{"text":"Pen & Punch","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/pen-punch\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":783,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2025\/07\/27\/lets-talk-about-violence-in-fiction\/","url_meta":{"origin":1192,"position":3},"title":"Let’s talk about violence (in fiction)","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"July 27, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"These stories aren\u2019t dark for the sake of it. The violence isn\u2019t spectacle \u2014 it\u2019s language. It speaks of silence, shame, and the quiet ways people undo each other. If it makes readers uncomfortable, that\u2019s the point. Fiction isn\u2019t meant to soothe all the time. Sometimes, it\u2019s meant to confront.","rel":"","context":"In "The Heart of the Story"","block_context":{"text":"The Heart of the Story","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/the-heart-of-the-story\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1989,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2026\/04\/09\/youre-reading-too-much-into-it-but-its-kinda-turning-me-on\/","url_meta":{"origin":1192,"position":4},"title":"You’re reading too much into it, but it’s kinda turning me on","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"April 9, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Let's explores the nuanced relationship between fiction and personal experience, emphasizing that writing reflects both truth and transformation, while maintaining an element of distance from personal reality.","rel":"","context":"In "Bold Banter"","block_context":{"text":"Bold Banter","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/pen-punch\/bold-banter\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2612,"url":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/2026\/08\/25\/my-writing-isnt-a-cry-for-help-but-it-could-be-interpreted-that-way\/","url_meta":{"origin":1192,"position":5},"title":"My writing isn’t a cry for help, but it could be interpreted that way","author":"Montse \"M.B\" Benavides","date":"August 25, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"The connection between emotional truth and factual writing is complex; fiction allows writers to explore pain without personal experience, inviting empathy and participation rather than speculation.","rel":"","context":"In "Pen & Punch"","block_context":{"text":"Pen & Punch","link":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/category\/pen-punch\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1192","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/134972872"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1192"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1192\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1199,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1192\/revisions\/1199"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1192"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1192"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbnovels.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1192"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}